Thoughts

what are the dreams that are stirring my heart? some long forgotten; some newly found. my heart has been drawn to much through the years … but i’ve often lost sight of passionate pursuit due to fears of disapproval or a failure to come through. i’m not sure what God is doing or what he wants to speak through me. i’ve given him my life, though, and i hope beyond hope that he will use me … in spite of my doubts.

they are many … these doubts in my mind and my heart and my being and this soul that is mine. at first i am floored by depth of his love but then i wonder if i’m ever enough. and i’m not. and it hurts. to confess that it’s true – that i’ll never quite be what i’m needed to be – it hurts.

i am not enough. at least, not on my own. my rhythms and fall-backs are always just off of the path he has chosen my feet to move on. but i’m glad. because only when i realize i’m never enough will i move aside long enough to let him move up and along and beside and all through my desires to become the only one i need to blossom. in this garden of life, i will blossom. and his love for me will shine.

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